Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
