the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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