i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Randomize
