So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
