Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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