I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
