He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
