bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
