Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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