my room smells like sperm. sweet.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Randomize
