Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
she told me i tasted like america
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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