Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
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