just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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