When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
