i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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