We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Randomize