I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
