why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Fuck appropriateness.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
