I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
