hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Randomize
