let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
