This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
