They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
PS: I just woke up from my shower
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
