With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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