One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
