She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Randomize
