she was so not down for the gang bang
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I am one with the molecules
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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