dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
