Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
