i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
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