Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
