yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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