Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
