that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
