this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
