I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I will be naked everywhere
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
