if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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