never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
