Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
