Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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