Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
