Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
