btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
