it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
this will be a night to untag.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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