By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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