He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Randomize
