I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
