there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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