I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
