i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
