I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
