what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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