hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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