she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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