I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
